I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
