so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
