In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
