are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just pee around me
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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