Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
