You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
