i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
