I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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