I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
