It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
