So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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