You know, be my cock's hype man.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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