And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
