Soap is not a condiment
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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