I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
