Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
