playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
