sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
