no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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