Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
