non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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