my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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