$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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