I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
