I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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