I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
