Dual....:-)
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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