its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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