just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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