I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
