What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
