There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize