No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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