well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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