Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
