That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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