he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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