You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
