SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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