just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
