I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
