Where is the hickey?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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