smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
