she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
