nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
