So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
