she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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