i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize