Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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