are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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