maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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