We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
