you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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